Jan 17, 2012

Cyber FINOs and FINDs

Calvin & Hobbes- Bill Watterson
Do you have a FINO in your midst? You know, Friend In Name Only?

While there are those in the real world that behave this way, I'm actually thinking of the cyber-world. I've noticed, especially lately, that I have some of those. You know, the kind that re-posts all your finds, but makes sure he/she doesn't attribute them to you or even acknowledge it on your own page. This person is happy to lap up your loyalty and good will, but would never publicly take a stand for you. He/She only acknowledges your existence if it brings attention to him/her at an opportune moment. If, for example, your blog post takes off and it becomes the buzz of your small, shared cyber-world; that's when this person shows up, fawning over you, behaving as if you two have some shared secrets, a close relationship that really doesn't exist, and only because there's attention to be gained from it. They love to soak up the rays of sunshine, but if it's cloudy, foggy or misty in your neck of the woods, they're nowhere to be found. But, if the storms are coming their way, they fully want your total support and shelter. If they find themselves under attack, they fully expect you to be there- sword in hand- to slay their enemies for them. If you're in that predicament, you're on your own.

Do you have one or two of those?

Yeah, me too.

I acknowledge that people have busy lives, and that sometimes it's just the busy world, a large friend list, etc.. that could make one little more than acquaintance. That, I accept.

It's just that these FINOs tend to like to grab on to the attention given to others, and seek it out wherever they can find it. It's an interesting animal to observe- try not to feed them. They'll only bite that hand in the end.

Then, there are the most lovely of creatures called true FINDs (Friends in Name & Deed). These are the ones that make life fun, interesting and worthwhile. They are loyal, kind, caring, supportive and come in different shapes, sizes, colors, sexes, religious and political bents. When you least expect it, they surprise you with a word of encouragement or a message that says, "I thought of you today." They may not always reach out to you every single day (some do, which is awesome), but they're always showing up just when you need them most. Most of mine are great FINDs. I don't know what I'd do without them. You know who you are- most likely, you're reading this now. How do I know this? Because that's what a real FIND does- reads even the boring posts, not just the rants or the most popular ones.

So for all my lovely FINDs out there, I love you. I think you're amazing. I cherish everything about you and I value your friendship more than I could ever express in words. And, since we're not together, please give yourself a big hug for me. Thank you for being who you are.


  1. Kallan I find you to be one amazing woman that is for sure.
    Great post and yes I can honestly think of a few who are like this in my own personal experience. I would like to share this, it just might make people stop and think hmmm...yeah maybe not *laughing*...those people are too self absorbed to think they need to change. Thank you for this awareness, I appreciate it in every way. Love the analogy too.

  2. You have peeked into my universe. May your true friends outnumber the posers.

  3. Kallan, I read even your boring posts, ROFL!!!! Hugs to you! Oh, and P.S. I think the second season of Game of Thrones will be starting in a couple of months, right? I am afraid I am going to be confused, though since we read all the books since watching the last season. You?

  4. It is, however, a warm feeling when it's merely a few FINOs compared to multiples of FINDs. For myself, I'm too anti-social to have a social circle large enough to kick in the FINO-percentage ;)

  5. Lol, Robin! I thought of you when I wrote that part!
    My son stole my Kindle to re-read the series so he'll be ready to pick it apart in April.
    I'm hoping they do it better justice, now that they have a bigger budget and some awards under their belts.

    I have a feeling you and I will be commiserating together on it, though.. lol, even THAT will be fun!

  6. Rae, you are just a sweetheart. Thank you!

  7. P, I know what you mean, and be happy about that! lol


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