For the past decade, I have chosen to write under a nom de plume for many reasons, most of them involved keeping my work and private life separate. Until about 6 months ago, I was employed at a company that required I speak publicly and write articles for publication on the internet under my given name. When I was released from employment in November of 2012, I began a journey of transformation in which I began to reevaluate what I really wanted from my life. Upon turning 50 in February, I realized that I really wanted to do something in my life that created a real impact in the lives of others. Psychologists actually have a term for that called "mid-life transition".
Carl Jung's interpretation is how I'd best describe it. He wrote about the stages through which this mid-life transition goes, and what we contemplate at this time:
Accommodation—presenting ourselves as different people ("personae") based on our situation
Separation—removing the personae we wear in different situations and assessing who we are underneath; rejecting your personae, even if only temporarily
Reintegration—feeling more certain of your true identity and adopting more appropriate personae
Individuation—recognizing and integrating the conflicts that exist within us, and achieving a balance between them
As I searched for what I really wanted to accomplish from this time until I pass through the veil and on to whatever is after "death", I realized that I had come to a point where the name I had been given at birth no longer suited me.
My first name, Linda, had been a compromise between my parents. My father wanted to name me "Hildegarde", "Harriet" or "Gertrude" and my mother wanted to name me "Melissa", "Michelle" or "Kelly".. they literally argued over this throughout her pregnancy and through my birth. So, my father created a compromise. I would be named after my mother (first name), take on a middle name that was from his side of the family (a family last name) and of course, the last name would be theirs. My parents divorced when I was 3 1/2 years old, and my father was mostly absent from my life. He has stated on several occasions that he was never meant to be a parent. My siblings and I will attest that my mother was also in that category, even if she refuses to admit it.
My sister came along less than a year after my birth, and looked exactly like my mother. Throughout my childhood, people would comment that I received the wrong name... my sister should have been named after my mother instead of me. I was always called "Little Linda" as the distinction between me and my mother, and of course, she was called "Big Linda" which she always hated. Once I grew taller than her, she began to make comments that I should now be called "Big Linda" (neither of us was ever obese, but that's how she took the term 'big'). My middle and last name (maiden) never really fit either. People were always joking that I was the milkman's kid, because I didn't really look like any of them.
I married twice and both times, I was way too young. The first last 10 months, the second 7 1/2 years. I kept the second last name for the sake of my three youngest children. They're all grown up now, and they really don't care what name I have. All of my children have said, "We call you, 'Mom', so it doesn't matter to us".
During my conversion to Judaism experience (which I did not complete. For those in the know, I got to the point of Beit Din and then chose not to go through with it. I felt it was best to honor my ancestors rather than become a Jew), I chose a Hebrew name: Eliyana. It was a nice name, but since I didn't go through with it, it just wasn't me.
Further on in my journey, I found my path- Paganism. Of course, most of you are aware of choosing a "magical name" or having one given to you. I was a member of a group in which I was given a name, but it just didn't quite seem to fit me, but it was at least chosen with thoughtfulness and love.Our group broke up, and I shed that name as well.
After I became a solitary, I wanted to write and socialize online, so I spent time researching names, like I had done when I chose them for my children. I also wanted to honor my ancestors, as this is something that resonates strongly with me. I started looking into Irish Gaelic for my pen name. Kallan means "strong in battle" and I've led a life that required that of me. Kennedy is actually my mother's maiden name, so I was able to honor my grandfather in that way, and it means "head of the clan", which is what I am in my family. I've tried very hard to live up to the name I gave myself, and I wanted to bring honor to it. My friends/family have assured me that this is the case.
I began researching what it would take then to change my name legally in my state, and have begun the process of doing just that. By the end of the summer, my legal name will be Kallan Bradbury Kennedy. As some of you may recall, my ancestor on my father's side is John Bradbury, a Scottish Botanist and Explorer in the Americas in the 1800's. My father's middle name (which he uses as his first name) is Bradbury. So, in this way, while I am changing my name, I am still able to bring honor to both lines of my heritage, and be able to live with a name that isn't built upon compromise, but upon a careful, conscious choice.
It will also help me to have one name as I launch into a new direction and business model in my life. Very shortly, I'll be sharing that with you, and asking for your input as well. Per state law, I've formally announced to my friends and family my intention to legally change my name, and I cannot fully express in words how 'right' this feels.
There is a quote in the bible that I truly love. It says, " A good name is rather to be chosen than fine riches..." (Proverbs 22).
This week's stew is a perfect blend of goodness for your enjoyment. Our beloved Kathleen is on vacation this week and we're wishing her lots of relaxation and rest! We'll start you off with Kestril's song of the week, Birthdays, News... Karen's got your Pagan Lore, Sosanna's rescuing animals again, Captain Dave is charting some deep waters, and I'm shamelessly plugging my blog designer. Of course, your tarot, totem and astrology are all here too.. lots of stuff happening in the heavens this week. So, grab your spoon and your favorite beverage and let's dig in!
Song of the Week with Kestril Trueseeker
This week's song is a tongue in cheek pick based on the internet hoopla surrounding a now infamous episode of a reality TV. The initials of the business in question made me think of this Jackson 5 classic, which is a cute play on the idea of learning the basics as relates to the idea of love.
Which in turn brought me back to the idea of learning - or being willing to learn that is. Sometimes when I watch reality shows like this, I am dumbstruck by the insane amount of hubris displayed. It's one of the things that really repels me about reality TV in general (and why I rarely watch it, unless my curiosity gets piqued in some way). Although I get that there is a certain amusement factor that can be derived by watching the prideful (Narcissistic really) going before the fall, part of me squirms a bit, because isn't a healthy pride a good thing to have? Without it, we can be too timid to really reach for the great things that are available for us.
I think the key word in that question though is "healthy". A healthy pride allows us to recognize what we do well, and perhaps what we need to improve upon. A healthy pride is fertile soil for a mind that's willing to learn. Because if you have true pride in yourself (and not the fake ass hubris that parades across the screens in our homes) you truly want to learn more to improve yourself. You will brush up on those ABC's when you know you need it. It's not a weakness to admit there is more to learn - it's a strength. And if your are walking this path, honey, there's always more to learn.
Keep Dancing.
Kestril
Happy Birthday this week to Kourtney Leaf (!!!!), Sunny Harris, Lesley O'hara, Patti DeBoer, Ed Foster, Felicia Cochran (!!), Peter Lucibelli, Loren Morris (!!!!!!!!!), Alice Rhoads, Lisa Foster Moss, Ivonne Meyers-Bley, and Bethan Oak. May this be your best birthday EVER and may your next year of life bring you joy, peace, happiness, good health and all the very best of success and abundance!
Good Morning, Sunday Stew readers! As the month of May seems to be trying to decide which season it actually wants to act like, lol, I bring you another week of Pagan Lore:
Sunday, May 19
On this day in the year 1780, a strange and unexplained darkness draped most of New England, turning daytime into night. Many folks believed that a Salem Witch's curse was responsible for the day of darkness, since no other explanation for the phenomenon has ever been found.
Monday, May 20
On this date, a sacred festival called the Plynteria was celebrated annually in ancient Greece. The festival was held in honor of Athena, the Goddess of wisdom and battle, and the patroness of the city of Athens (which was named after her), and included the ritual sea cleansing of her statue, followed by prayers in the Parthenon and feasting.
Tuesday, May 21
On this date in the year 1911, Peter Hurkos was born in the Netherlands. He developed astonishing psychic powers after recovering from a coma, and became world-famous for solving crimes through the divinatory art of psychometry. He passed away in Los Angeles on May 25, 1988.
On this date in the year 1946, Gwydion Pendderwen was born in Berkeley, California. He was a Celtic bard, a cofounder of the Faery Tradition of Witchcraft, and the founder of a Neo-Pagan networking organization called Nemeton. He died in the Autumn of 1982 as a result of a tragic automobile accident.
Wednesday, May 22
On this date (approximately), the Sun enters the astrological sign of Gemini. Persons born under the sign of the Twins are said to be communicative, curious, charming, and often nervous and fickle. Gemini is an air sign and is ruled by the planet Mercury.
Thursday, May 23
The Rosalia, a sacred rose festival dedicated to the springtime flower-Goddess Flora and the love-Goddess Venus, was celebrated annually on this date in ancient Rome.
Friday, May 24
On this day, an annual harvest ritual called Sacred Furrow Day was held in Cambodia. As part of the rite, the farmland would be plowed by members of the royal family in order to appease the ancient gods of the harvest and to ensure the fertility of the land.
The birth of the Greek moon-Goddess Artemis (who also presides over hunting and wild beasts) has been celebrated each year on this day since ancient times. As a lunar Goddess, she has been an influential archetype for many Witches and worshipers of the contemporary Goddess religion. Artemis is equivalent to the Roman moon-Goddess Diana and is identified with Luna, Hecate, and Selene.
Saturday, May 25
In Europe (especially France), this day is sacred to Saint Sarah of the Gypsies and also to an ancient Triple Goddess who rose from the waters of the ocean.
In ancient Greece, the birthday of Apollo, the twin brother of the Goddess Artemis, was celebrated annually on this date.
On this date in the year 1581, famed occultists and alchemist John Dee first realized his natural gift for looking into the future through the art of crystal-gazing. He served for years as the royal astrologer of Queen Elizabeth and had a reputation as a powerful wizard.
And there you have it! Hope you enjoyed this week's Pagan history and lore, and I'll see you again next week!
Karen
Karen is also an Avon Representative. Come check out her page here!
Sparkle and Shine with Sosanna
Hubby and I love animals. All sorts of animals. Sometimes we love from afar. Meaning we don’t have snakes or spiders as pets, but we do appreciate them for what they do for our environment. We do have three indoor cats, one parakeet, eight hens, five Yorkshire Terriers, three Chihuahuas, one deaf boxer, one deaf bull dog and five feral cats.
Earlier this week hubby and I were sitting out in the front yard with the small hearing dogs and playing catch with the ball. As we’re sitting there a little bird falls from a nest right in front of our house. I wrangle the little dogs back in the house and hubby dashes out to the street to try to save the little guy. All of a sudden out of nowhere mama bird and daddy bird appear to let us know they do not take kindly to us mucking around with their baby. Baby bird is put back in the nest, hubby in back to the house without being pecked and we head indoors for the evening.
Next morning hubby goes outside to water the garden. I hear him yell out my name from the yard and I come running to the window. He says. KITTENS!
GREAT! Just two years ago we had our feral colony fixed and just about a month or so ago we had a new stray that appeared, had her spayed as well. Where did these kittens come from?? We head out with a pair of gloves and a cup of tea to try to catch them. The first one walked up to hubby and he brought him right inside. As we’re sitting inside looking out the window the little tuxedo kitten falls into our pond. Hubby runs for the door and makes it all the way around the house and to the pond in time to pull the poor little thing up out of the water. That’s two.
Hubby spends the rest of the day trying to locate the rest of the litter. We weren’t sure how many were actually part of the litter, but we knew there were at least four. The end of work day rolls around and as I’m finishing up some emails and shutting down my work machine, Hubby says… “There’s another one!” He then says… wait… I look out the window and it’s not a kitten at all. It is an opossum! Last week we had a much larger opossum show up and hang around for a couple of days. This one was much smaller. We chuckled and Hubby snapped a few photos as the little guy ran back behind our fence. A little while later we looked out and there was another one!! That’s two! UGH
We head outside to see if maybe they’re a family living in our pole barn and as I round the corner of the hen house, three little kittens are playing in the grass. Hubby sneaks over and is able to pick up one while the other two scoot under the building. He hands me that one and I bring it in and then run back outside to help. He motions for me to come lift up and board and as we open the board there they are! Two more little kittens, one light tiger stripe gray and another tuxedo. These last two are wilder than the rest and I get several scratches for me efforts.
So this morning I sit here with a new extra-large dog crate set up as a kitten refuge. There’s a litter box and some toys hanging from the top. The kittens are too young to take to SNAP to be spayed and neutered. We’ll probably have to keep them until they’re old enough to be fixed and then find new homes for them. Hopefully since they are so young we can tame the down and make them house cats for a wonderful family. I plan to add photos to our Pinterest page that will show their progress.
As with any rescue venture I’m looking for sponsors or volunteers to help with the cost of their care. After they are vetted up hubby and I will find homes for them.
So this is what we do. We bring them in, take care of them and help them on their way. These are the things that keep me happy. These are the things that help me Sparkle and Shine.
I would like to tell you a story. It happened a long, long time ago, when our world was very, very young.
A great collective consciousness observed our world and saw that it was good, so they created all of the beasts of the world to inhabit it, and as their caretakers, they created men and women, and spread them all throughout the world - reflections of themselves.
Seeing that this was good, they rested to reflect on this. While doing so, one force, a young, obstinate force, thought that it could do better, so it selected a tiny region of this world and created there a beautiful garden. Here, it brought forth a man out of the mud near a river flowing through this garden and breathed the breath of life into his nostrils.
Jealous of the others' accomplishments, this petulant child told its man creation that he was special and had dominion over the whole world and everything in it.
It then thought that its man needed a slave to his every whims, so it put the man into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs and used that to form its own version of a woman.
Realizing that its two creations might possibly hear the voices of the others, or even develop enough free will to give question to its position as the ultimate creator of everything, it placed a tree in the center of the garden that would do just this...but ensured that they knew that the fruit from the tree was absolutely, positively forbidden.
"You can't have it," it exclaimed. "If you eat that, then on that day you will die!"
Content that its threat was sufficient to keep its creations in line, it decided to rest awhile.
Then, the one of the others saw what was happening. It saw the petulant child's enslavement of two souls, the entrapment and threats, so it decided to intervene. Taking the form of a serpent, it whispered to the woman-creation, "If you eat this fruit, you will not die. Instead, your eyes will then be opened. You will be freed from your bondage."
The woman-creation was afraid, so the serpent reassured her that everything was fine. She would not die. It gave her a solemn promise that she would only be freed, so the woman-creation took a tentative bite in secret. (The story continues here)
Follow Captain Dave's adventures through his blog "Uncharted Seas"
Best days to do business this week: May 19 (all day), May 20 (until 12:48pm EDT)
Weekly Tarot: The Magician
Key words and phrases: Mastery of words and matter. Power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness.
"Eloquence, including eloquent silence and Hermetic wisdom. Mediator, messenger, and communicator. The Magician may be a sage or just a quick talker. He is a master-manipulator of the material world, but the miracles he effects may be true physical and metaphysical transformation of mere illusion and technical tricks. With Hermes, one never knows; he is the god of orators and liars, merchants and thieves, trickery and arcane science."~Facade
The magician is associated with the planet Mercury, which carries the skills of logic and intellect. The magician's number is one, which is the number of new beginnings. This signifies a new life cycle is beginning and creativity is at an all-time high. A situation may arise this week that will help you create your desires. You'll feel a sense of "can-do" and be energized to take on a new project in your life. Optimism is strong. You can manifest your goals by using your skills, tools and the resources available to you. Claim your power and act with focused concentration. Be clear about your motives and intentions, and call upon the elements for wisdom and guidance.
Key words and phrases: Rebirth, Resurrection, Initiation, and Wisdom
"To the Native Americans, the snake is a symbol of
transformation and healing. Snake ceremonies involved learning to transmute the
poisons within the body after being bitten multiple times. Survival of this
would then enable the individual to transmute all poisons-physical or
otherwise. It activated the energy of kill or cure, ultimately leading to
dramatic healings.
In the Meso-American societies, the serpent or snake was
depicted as feathered and flying. It was a symbol of their greatest god and
hero, Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl's story is the myth of a dying god who would
someday return. In many ways he was the patron god of the Toltecs, and it was
said that the heavens and stars and all the motions of the universe were under
his dominion. "He was the master of the winds and of the clouds and the
protecting genius of his people.
In Greece the snake was also a symbol of alchemy and
healing. The god Hermes carried a staff upon which were entwined two snakes.
This caduceus symbol is the primary symbol of modern medicine and doctors. It
is a symbol of wisdom expressed through healing.
In India the goddess Vinata was the mother of snakes and a
symbol of water and the underworld. Also in India there were demigods, Nagas
and their beautiful wives, Naginis, who were usually depicted as half cobra and
half deity. The god Vishnu is often depicted sleeping on the serpent of
eternity called Ananta. Shiva wears snakes for bracelets and necklaces,
representing sexuality." ~Ted Andrews, Animal Speak
Snake is a powerful symbol of transformation and resurrection. There are over 3000 species of snake in the world. Giants like the 49 foot-long python can squeeze the life out of a large antelope and swallow it whole. Other snakes grow no longer than a pencil. Some live in the sea, some burrow underground, others climb trees. Here is what they all have in common: a long, thin shape; scales, legless bodies; and unblinking, lidless eyes. Like all reptiles, snakes rely on heat to control their body temperature.
Most snakes are non-venomous, and have received an undeserved reputation of being aggressive. Very few snakes (exception: black mamba) willfully go on the attack or hunt humans. Most of them, including the rattlesnake in North America, are very shy creatures, who would rather move out of the way than go anywhere near human beings. In fact, the rattlesnake makes that rattle to let you know he is in the area and wants you to go away.
Snakes shed their skin at various times throughout the year. Snake sheds are used in a variety of spells and for some potions as well. This act of shedding is symbolic of leaving a part of one's life that is no longer necessary.. it's something you've outgrown, and when the shedding is complete, the snake is sleeker, bigger and ready to take on the next challenge in life.This is why they are associated with rebirth and renewal.
Snake's wisdom is in the process of shedding, which takes patience and proper removal (if the conditions are not right, a snake will not shed the skin fully, leaving him/her with bits and pieces hanging on for days; but if conditions are right, the snake will shed the skin whole, making it a thing of beauty). Once this process is completed, the snake is both ravenous and energetic.
If you've recently shed (or are in the process of shedding) things that no longer serve you, know that your time is complete and the energy you need for this new phase of life is available to you. Call upon the snake for his eternal wisdom in helping you start fresh. Don't forget, this is the year of the snake as well!
The Shameless Plug
Did you happen to notice a change to this blog? Perhaps not, as it may seem a bit trivial or minimal. I've changed the title and removed the word "Working". So, it's just "The Secret Life of the American Witch".. it's been something I've wanted to do for a long time. Originally, I wanted to distinguish myself from other Pagan female blogs which were all in competition over being "domestic" witches, pagans, etc... and that's just not my thing. I applaud (and was one for over a decade) stay-at-home moms, but I didn't want that to be my focus. As this blog and I have grown and developed, I don't think there's really a need for that extra distinction. I am an American Witch, whether I work at home or from home or at an office (and there are some exciting things in the pipeline.. more to come on that soon).
One of the absolute best things that ever happened to me as a blogger was encountering Tara Barnow Smith from PiP Designs. She is the designer of my blog, and I really wish I could have remembered at the time to take a before and after shot for you all.. if you knew just how much she improved the look and feel of this blog with her creativity, you'd know why she's in such high demand as a designer right now. So, I'm bragging on her and on her business today. She's amazing to work with- so easy-going, intuitive and the quality she produces is stellar. I've had so many compliments on this blog's design, and it's really all her. I gave her a really vague idea of what I wanted, and then she took off with it. She worked with me until I was satisfied. She's been great at helping me make changes and updates along the way (her maintenance plan totally rocks!), and I couldn't recommend anyone more highly. I doubled my website traffic in a week after she published the changes. If you're looking for a reasonably priced blog designer or Facebook Page designer or someone to help you create or recreate a fantastic Etsy site, Tara is your go-to person.
Shhh.. don't tell anyone, but I know Tara is going to be raising her prices soon (as well she should!) so, if you've been thinking about doing something like this, now is the time to get in on it!! Make it happen and tell her I sent you!
You'll notice that she's worked on several Pagan sites, as well as business and other blogger sites. She's quite versatile!
That's it for this week's Stew. Mull. Digest. Enjoy!
"The Sunday Stew is a free, weekly e-publication delivered as a public service to the Pagan community. All submissions are copyrighted to their authors, and the opinions expressed therein are not necessarily those of the blog owner. We love your feedback! Please leave a comment here, on Facebook or via the contact form with suggestions for improvement or just to tell us what you liked about The Stew."
Definition of Endorsement: noun
1. An act of giving one's public approval or support to someone or something.
2. A recommendation of a product in an advertisement.
The subject of endorsement has been nagging at me for awhile now.
As many of you who read the Sunday Stew are aware, I endorse people, books, music, websites, etc... through the Shameless Plug section each week. At one point in time, I had a feature here called "The Friday Frolic" in which I'd link to a site or something cool I'd just found on the internet. I've also been known to promote fundraisers for other people and people have donated money to those causes because of my advocacy. I even give an "Inspiring Pagan Award" to those people I believe display the best qualities of Paganism in our community.
I'd love to say that every single one of those examples were good choices on my part, but the truth is, I've made some serious mistakes, and it's affected other people as well as me, personally. My own "brand" or reputation is important to me. I want to be sure that I'm giving good information to those of you who trust me to do that.
My intentions were always good with my mistaken recommendations. I "knew" the people online, and thought they were decent, above-board kind of folks. I wanted to do what I could to help them get information out, promote their products/services, or even defend them when I thought they were being unfairly treated by others.
What I discovered through these errors in judgment was that facades began to crack,and that I had been duped by the very people I'd told others were so awesome. And, I felt awful; not because I was conned or that I'd been swindled out of money, etc... but, because other people made decisions based on their trust in me and my judgment- and I failed them.
In a more benign fashion, I see it happen a lot on Facebook in particular. How many times have we passed along a meme or article that someone we trust posted, only to find out it was a fake or riddled with errors? We normally would "Snopes-It" ourselves, but someone we know to be credible posted it, so this person must have checked it out. (It's okay- you don't need to raise your hand or comment.. we've all done it at least once.)
Another example: My bff owned a brick-and-mortar Pagan shop. This attracts all kinds of folks who want to use a shop owner to promote themselves in some way. She endorsed a particular person who turned out to be completely unethical and unreliable, and it really upset her, because she cares about her reputation in the Pagan world. She's ethical herself and would never want to lead others astray. I feel her pain, there.
I've been asked by many people to promote them through my blog. I've had television shows reach out to me, sex toy sites, .. the list goes on. I've had people offer to pay me for endorsements as well.
On what I consider to be a more dangerous note, people within our Pagan community have asked for my endorsement for their "life" or "soul" coaching businesses. These are people who've chosen to teach others how to live, yet they are now or were just recently in counseling themselves for serious emotional breakdowns or personal traumas, have no degrees in psychology, no ordinations, no counseling license, and almost zero life experience (a 20 year old is not prepared for life-coaching no matter how much they believe they are).
If you're going to coach someone, you have to have a working knowledge of the subject. This is true in sports, dance, business, and especially in life. Those who've been around the block for awhile have that kind of experience. In Western culture, we focus way too heavily on worshiping youth, rather than age/experience which is where wisdom is attained, and we'll pay the price for that if we're not careful. But, I digress.
While many of us many not see ourselves as 'leaders', there is always someone that you influence. Someone is looking up to you and will trust in your judgment.
I've posted in the past about "caveat emptor" (buyer beware). This is an "endorser beware" warning. While we may like people and they seem very credible at the time, we need to be more discerning as to whom or what we give our personal seal of approval. When these charlatans who want to use our "recommendation power" to further their own ends are revealed for who and what they really are, there will be fallout, and you can be sure that if you were a person who defended or affirmed them, your credibility could be affected.
Be wary of your online associations as well. If it doesn't feel right, don't. I've known many people who've told me, "You know, when I first started talking to (insert name here), he/she just gave me a bad vibe. But, everyone else seemed to like him/her, so I thought it was just me". Right there, your own intuition was trying to help you, but you went with the crowd (again, don't beat yourself up- we've all done it).
Don't let anyone sway you when you get those impressions. And, don't be afraid to speak up when something doesn't sit right with you. It's difficult, because human beings are social animals, and our nature is not to be loners.. we want acceptance and to be a part of a 'pack'- but, you can be choosy about the group to which you belong.
We want our heroes and our leaders. We need people whose lives and ethics and values are inspirational. There's nothing wrong with that. We need to ask ourselves:
What criteria have we set for those folks? Do they live up to those?
Does our "something's-not-right" radar go off?
Do they have what it takes to earn our approbation?
The relationship is symbiotic. These people need our endorsement as much as we need them to be credible. It's time for us to value our own sanction-power as much as they do, and to use it wisely.
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