- Accommodation—presenting ourselves as different people ("personae") based on our situation
- Separation—removing the personae we wear in different situations and assessing who we are underneath; rejecting your personae, even if only temporarily
- Reintegration—feeling more certain of your true identity and adopting more appropriate personae
- Individuation—recognizing and integrating the conflicts that exist within us, and achieving a balance between them
As I searched for what I really wanted to accomplish from this time until I pass through the veil and on to whatever is after "death", I realized that I had come to a point where the name I had been given at birth no longer suited me.
I married twice and both times, I was way too young. The first last 10 months, the second 7 1/2 years. I kept the second last name for the sake of my three youngest children. They're all grown up now, and they really don't care what name I have. All of my children have said, "We call you, 'Mom', so it doesn't matter to us".
During my conversion to Judaism experience (which I did not complete. For those in the know, I got to the point of Beit Din and then chose not to go through with it. I felt it was best to honor my ancestors rather than become a Jew), I chose a Hebrew name: Eliyana. It was a nice name, but since I didn't go through with it, it just wasn't me.
Further on in my journey, I found my path- Paganism. Of course, most of you are aware of choosing a "magical name" or having one given to you. I was a member of a group in which I was given a name, but it just didn't quite seem to fit me, but it was at least chosen with thoughtfulness and love.Our group broke up, and I shed that name as well.
I began researching what it would take then to change my name legally in my state, and have begun the process of doing just that. By the end of the summer, my legal name will be Kallan Bradbury Kennedy. As some of you may recall, my ancestor on my father's side is John Bradbury, a Scottish Botanist and Explorer in the Americas in the 1800's. My father's middle name (which he uses as his first name) is Bradbury. So, in this way, while I am changing my name, I am still able to bring honor to both lines of my heritage, and be able to live with a name that isn't built upon compromise, but upon a careful, conscious choice.
It will also help me to have one name as I launch into a new direction and business model in my life. Very shortly, I'll be sharing that with you, and asking for your input as well. Per state law, I've formally announced to my friends and family my intention to legally change my name, and I cannot fully express in words how 'right' this feels.
There is a quote in the bible that I truly love. It says, " A good name is rather to be chosen than fine riches..." (Proverbs 22).
I couldn't agree more.